Episode 39: How Not Keeping Promises Undermines Recovery Ask The Unfaithful podcast

Episode 39: How Not Keeping Promises Undermines Recovery

3d ago 36:23

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In the daily grind of recovery work lies the realization that even the smallest of broken promises can be a trigger to the betrayed. We the unfaithful will constantly refute the betrayed's concerns with responses like 'are you kidding me? it was just the lawns....or the trash cans....or a small bill....or one therapy session or one homework assignment from James or Sam!" We just have such a hard time as unfaithful, making the connection between broken promises and sirens going off in the heart and mind of the betrayed.

"Well, if you can't commit to something as small and easy as the aforementioned items, how can I know you'll stay committed to the bigger things like saying no to temptation and refraining from flirting or acting out again?" answers the betrayed.

"If you can't take seriously the small things, how do I know you'll take seriously the larger, bigger items like therapy, relapse prevention and lifelong sobriety?" says the betrayed.

And....quite honestly, they are right in their concerns. But why you may ask? Today we'll share just why it's vital to be a man or woman of keeping your word.

Unfaithful, take it from both of us, if you want your betrayed to eventually trust you again, keep your word. If you want your betrayed to eventually respect you again, keep your word. If you want your betrayed to eventually start to soften and find more compassion for you, keep your word.

Yes, even in the smallest of items. Keeping your word displays character. Keeping your word displays integrity. Keeping your word displays a heartfelt commitment to sobriety. Keeping your word shows a commitment to building a safe life for ourselves and for our partner.

We the unfaithful don't always see it this way, but respectively, we're not the ones with betrayal trauma.

We hope today is a palatable lesson on how to slowly but surely win back the heart, respect and even trust of the betrayed.

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Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com

Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com

Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast

Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

42 episodes