244 - Two Hundred Fourty Four
Manage episode 425897084 series 3506432
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[TRANSCRIPT]
[click, static]
You want to explain what? All of it? You want to explain everything to me, is that what you’re saying? Because I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—you can transmit as long a message as you want, just make sure it repeats and I’ll sit by the radio and transcribe it all out.
When we got that message, Harry asked me what an explanation would change for me. She wants to know if I’ll—if you really do tell us everything and it all makes sense and the world becomes clear, and after all of that, it really is true that killing Junior would put us back…would that change my perspective on it.
And I—well, I told her I don’t know, because I don’t know. I can’t know, not really, until I know what I don’t know right now. When I don’t have the information, I can’t predict how it might change what I think.
But if I’m honest with myself, I really doubt it would change that much. I’m not a killer. I don’t want to be a killer. I know that technically I am, but I—well, I don’t know! I don’t feel less guilty about Billings just because I didn’t mean to kill him, I still fought with him. But Harry seems to think it’s different and that’s what I don’t understand.
How does she look at Pete and decry what he did and then look at me and say it’s okay and I can do it again—I killed a man and can kill his son and that’s not as bad as what Pete did. It doesn’t make any sense to me, that logic. And I can’t imagine a world in which Harry would want to do this particular bit of dirty business herself so it would be - it would be me.
It doesn’t matter—I’m not entertaining the idea. No matter what we learn. No matter what you tell us.
[click, static]
[beeps]
.. .-..-. .-.. .-.. / - .-. .- -. ... -- .. - / ... .- ..-. . / .-.. --- -.-. .- - .. --- -.
I’ll transmit safe location
268 episodes