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Buckle up, b*tches…this week’s episode is a wild ride through salty confessions, defiant energy, and our refusal to be compliant with… well, pretty much anything. Salty, Defiant, and Extremely Noncompliant is exactly what you'd expect from us…chaotic, hilarious, and slightly concerning.
🔥 Hot Flash Alert: Dating in your 30s, 40s, and 50s sounds like an extreme sport, and based on our single friends' horror stories… we’re glad we’re not playing.
🥂 FUPAs & Fizz: That time we snuck mini champagne bottles into the movie theater by strategically placing them where no one questions a little extra fluff. TSA could never.
🐈 Cort’s Energy Shift: Once a golden retriever, now full-on cat mode…aloof, selectively social, and only affectionate on her own terms. Des called it, and we have no choice but to agree.
🌞 New Year, Who Dis? We’re throwing out the January start date…let’s embrace the astrological new year in March, when the sun actually shines and motivation isn’t buried under 12 layers of seasonal depression.
🎬 First Jobs, Big Yikes: Cort’s teenage self was out here renting out adult films and dishing unsolicited advice at the local porn shop (trauma? maybe.). Meanwhile, Des was at McDonald’s, touching fryers, ignoring coupons, and just generally doing whatever the hell she wanted. Corporate queen.
💨 To Fart or Not to Fart? A shocking investigation into whether we’re the type of couples that *let it rip* in front of our men or hold it in until our intestines scream. Spoiler: Cort’s living free, Des is holding on for dear life.
All this and more unhinged nonsense that probably shouldn’t be recorded but definitely is. Hit play, you won’t regret it. 🤭🎧

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