The podcast that covers the movies that help you identify your friends...and maybe make a few more along the way. Every week, Jacob, Cody, and Marten introduce a new title into their ever-growing collection of shared favorites, break them down to the basics, and decide whether or not they deserve to be bestowed with the oh-so-holy award of being a Certified Facemelter. What spine number will they cover this week? Tune in and find out.
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The boys say the dreaded hook killer's name five times in front of the mirror to conjure...CANDYMAN. To close out Spooky Season '24, Jacob and Marten dissect what's arguably their favorite Clive Barker adaptation, not to mention one of the scariest films of all time.
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Spine #68 - John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness
1:21:51
1:21:51
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You will not be saved by the Holy Ghost. You will not be saved by the God Plutonium. In fact, you will not be saved. The boys debate whether John Carpenter's '87 anti-God particle exploring weird out is one of his secret masterpieces, while also diving into the enduring influence Nigel Kneale's QUATERMASS XPERIMENT. Stuffy guys contemplating the na…
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Spine #67 - Night of the Demon ('80)
1:15:42
1:15:42
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Bigfoot's comin' gonna getcha, gonna getcha! Spooky Season continues with a bevy of weird ass Bigfoot movies, including the all-time psycho monster movie transmission NIGHT OF THE DEMON (no, not that one...the other one!). What happens when a gay porn director is allowed to let Sasquatch tear a man's penis off onscreen? Well, somehow even weirded s…
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Spine #66 - A Nightmare on Elm Street
1:45:33
1:45:33
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We're your boyfriends now, Nancy! To kick off both the start of Season Six and Spooky Season, the boys dive into the filmography of Wes Craven and the last big slasher franchise they haven't covered in depth: A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. How does Freddy stack up against the other slasher icons in SH's estimation? Tune in and find out.…
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Mini-Series: Summer of Brat(s) - Jon Cryer
1:13:59
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For the final episode of our Summer of Brat(s) mini-series, we cover the films of the Brat Pack's defining nerd: no, not Anthony Michael Hall, but the Duck Man himself, Jon Cryer! Sure, you've seen him star in one of the worst sitcoms ever, but have you seen him in possibly the best teen movie of all time? Let's bring this one home with one of the …
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Mini-Series: Summer of Brat(s) - Rob Lowe
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It's bad boy time! Our Summer of Brat mini-series rolls on to cover the sex tapes and legitimate work of Rob Lowe, one time hot boy and current TV heartthrob. Is he actually a good actor? Let's get down to business with some erotic thrillers, sad boner jam comedies, and a minor Francis Ford Coppola masterwork.…
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Mini-Series: Summer of Brat(s) - Emilio Estevez
1:24:34
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EMILIOOOOOOOOO! In the second installment of our Brat Pack mini-series, we cover the output of Martin Sheen's favorite son (that's unquestionable these days, right?), beginning with THE BREAKFAST CLUB, stopping by with REPO MAN, and ending on his outlandish directorial effort, WISDOM. Saddle up, Young Guns, we got some killing to do.…
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Mini-Series: Summer of Brat(s) - Andrew McCarthy
1:42:32
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It's Brat Girl Summer! Well, kind of... We're in-between seasons here at Secret Handshake, so we decided to do another mini-series, this time focusing on the '80s kids from the Brat Pack. And what better way to kick this run off than with three films starring Andrew McCarthy, the guy who helmed BRATS - the Hulu/NEON documentary that runs down he an…
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We did it Joe! We (finally) made it to the end of Season Five! To celebrate, the boys finally crack open the filmography of Jacob's favorite stylist: Brian De Palma, running down the reasons why his 1984 porno gialli is the Ultimate BDP Picture. Bring the wet wipes, this one gets sticky.
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The boys hitch a ride with Axel Foley to help investigate multiple crimes committed against his best friends, all in celebration of Netflix's legacy sequel, AXEL F. Does one of the great buddy cop comedies still stand the test of time? Let's hit it, partner.
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Spine #63 - Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
2:14:40
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Staaaaar Waaaaars! Nothin' but Staaaaaar Waaaaars! The boys celebrate the 25th birthday of one of the most divisive movies of all time, then use it as an excuse to get some feelings about the biggest franchise of all time off their chests. Bonus Content: Jacob grills Marten about his weird politics!
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Take a look at our face, we are the future! The boys toss out a quick collection of killer robot cinema, including the greatest entry into the "our substitute teacher is really a killer robot installed by a mercenary contractor to keep gang violence to a minimum" sci-fi/horror subgenre: Mark L. Lester's CLASS OF 1999. Keep your gears greased, this …
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WITNESS US! In celebration of George Miller's epic FURIOSA, the boys travel to the Wasteland and become History Men, chronicling the rise and fall of Max Rockatansky, as well as other legends of a post apocalyptic, guzzoline fueled suicide landscape.
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Apes! Together! Strong! The boys go ape for the entire PLANET OF THE APES saga, covering every entry from the '68 OG to the newest YA installment, KINGDOM OF THE PLANET OF THE APES. You'll never make a monkey out of us!
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Heads up! The boys are back, talking about the haunted multiplex attractions offered by Dark Castle Entertainment during the late '90s/early aughts, slathering some gory love on Jaume Collet-Serra's HOUSE OF WAX redux. Who wants to see Paris Hilton take a pole to the head? We do!
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The second film from sturdy genre workman Stephen Hopkins to enter the SH collection (following the gory glory of PREDATOR 2), Marten gets to wax lyrical about everything from Dennis Leary to bloodthirsty lions to Gene Hackman's addiction to Puerto Rican prostitutes. Don't play yourself and tune in now.…
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Bonus Episode - The Best Films of '23
1:56:14
1:56:14
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Because "belated" is our middle name, the boys sit down and discuss the best movies they saw in 2023, which cover everything from Copenhagen Cowboys, Italian race-car magnates, and Leo's teeth. Tune in and zone out.
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Spine #57 - Redemption (a/k/a Hummingbird)
1:52:02
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It's a new year and the boys are here to protect the hive. In celebration of THE BEEKEEPER, Jason Statham's latest bit of bald badassery, Jacob and Marten dive down a rabbit hole filed with headbutts, foul language, and kung fu to try and figure out what makes Statham one of our essential action stars. It's possible no one survives.…
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Spine #56 - Silent Night, Deadly Night
1:29:51
1:29:51
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Feliz Navidad fuckfaces! For the last episode of '23, Jacob and Marten throw one of the sleaziest slashers of all time into the canon: the nasty killer Santa body count opus, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT. Just so you know, you're all NAUGHTY on our list.
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We're back baby! After a (too long) hiatus, the boys sit down with Ridley Scott's long, winding filmography, ultimately ending on BLACK RAIN being their favorite. Oh, and they also check out a little (pun intended) French Emperor named Napoleon while they're at it. Secret Handshake returns!
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2023 has Dracula Fever!* To celebrate, the boys revisit Francis Ford Coppola's phantasmagoric experimental interpretation of Bram Stoker's infamous novel, before traversing down the cinematic history of the world's most iconic vampire. We vant to suck yo blood!*Well, not really, according to box office reports.…
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Ka-BOOM! The boys return following a brief hiatus to discuss the biggest movie of the summer (not based on a children's toy). The stoic, violent blockbusters of Christopher Nolan are broken down in order to properly celebrate Nolan's latest epic, the A-Bomb biopic OPPENHEIMER.
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The boys stay up journaling well into night as they spend time with Paul Schrader's lonely men. It's the Season Four finale and of course we went back to the filmograpghy of Secret Handshake's Patron Saint of Existential Despair.
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Separation can be so terrifying. To celebrate the new Amazon limited series remake, the boys revisit David Cronenberg's 1988 art house classic about twin gynecologists. Who's ready for hours of graphic childbirth?
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DEAD BY DAWN! DEAD BY DAWN! To celebrate the release of EVIL DEAD RISE, the boys set their sights on yet another heralded cult horror franchise: Sam Raimi's deadite dismembering EVIL DEAD series.
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We did it y'all! Spine #50! Spring Fever has hit America as we dive into MONEYBALL and a slew of cinematic baseball staples. Because, after all, how can you not be romantic about baseball?
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THERE'S NO EASY WAY OUT! THERE'S NO SHORT CUT HOME! The boys talk Rocky Balboa and his legacy of being the ultimate underdog sports champion, breaking down Stallone's greatest series before diving into the CREED saga. Lace up the gloves, it's time to build some hurtin' bombs!
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They called me...Mr. Glass! In celebration of Night's newest spookfest (KNOCK AT THE CABIN), the boys break down Shyamalan's ahead of the curve secret superhero opus, UNBREAKABLE, and how it fits into the rest of the auteur's odd, idiosyncratic body of work.
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Spine #47 - My Bloody Valentine ('81)
1:43:40
1:43:40
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Gather 'round, lovers, as the boys regale you with the ballad of Harry Warden, celebrating Cupid's favorite holiday with what might be the greatest slasher film of all time?
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When the moon is full, the boys become Constant Readers, hanging out with their drunk uncle Gary Busey and reminiscing about all the Stephen King flicks they've loved (and hated) over the years, starting with the famed horror author's small town werewolf epic, SILVER BULLET.
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Bonus Episode - The Best Films of '22 [Feat. Brandon Streussnig]
1:57:59
1:57:59
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That's a wrap! The boys get together with Brandon to talk about their fave flicks of '22.
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Spine #45 - Terminator 2: Judgement Day
1:40:25
1:40:25
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Jacob and Marten discover that they really groove on THE WAY OF WATER and discuss the movie that started James Cameron's incessant need to improve the blockbuster for generations of movie fans. Is TERMINATOR 2 the greatest sequel of all time? Possibly.
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Spine #44 - Once Upon a Time...In Hollywood
2:06:24
2:06:24
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Autobiography is the running theme of '22, so the boys read Quentin Tarantino's new book ("Cinema Speculation") and then revisited his Proustian masterpiece, ONCE UPON A TIME IN...HOLLYWOOD to try and zero in why all these old masters are looking to put themselves on screen.
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Tonight is what it means to be young. The boys looks back on the filmography of Walter Hill and wonder aloud if he's one of the finest action cinema storytellers who ever lived.
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Todd Field is back, baby. To celebrate the writer/director's first movie in 16 years - the Cate Blanchett classical music cancel culture drama TÁR - the boys look back on his entire filmography through the lens of where it all began: with the Bergmanesque New England domestic tragedy, IN THE BEDROOM.…
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Spine #41 - Tales From the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight
1:35:09
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Heeeeeeyyyyy Kiddies, it's the sinister start to Season Four! This week, the boils dig up the Cryptkeeper's first frightmare feature: Demon Knight! Will they survive this twisted treat? Or will this be their last Halloween? Find out in this ghoulish gab session. Cue Cryptkeeper Cackle!
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Bonus Episode - David Gordon Green's HALLOWEEN Trilogy
2:11:26
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Evil dies tonight! David Gordon Green brings home his HALLOWEEN trilogy with HALLOWEEN ENDS, and the boys decide to go long on how all three of these films fit together to create a somewhat coherent whole (and if HALLOWEEN KILLS gets any better on repeat viewing). Plus, we debate the merits of newly minted Tiger Beat sensation Corey Cunningham.…
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Bonus Episode - The Hellraiser Franchise
1:38:26
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Spooky Season is upon us, and so is a new Hellraiser movie. To celebrate both, Jacob and Marten dive into the problematic franchise and the work of it's notorious creator, Clive Barker. Stay tuned, we have such sights to show you.
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The Season Three finale sees the boys discussing possibly the most formative movie of their lives, Michael Mann's HEAT, and how the writer/director's new sequel novel, HEAT 2, plays like a Greatest Hits record for his entire career.
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In celebration of Greg Mottola's CONFESS, FLETCH, the boys revisit Chevy Chase's '80s noir comedy classics so that they can compare notes and see how Jon Hamm's latest iteration of the character stacks up to both the SNL vet, and author Gregory Mcdonald's original dime store vision.
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Bonus Episode - Kevin Smith's Clerks Trilogy
1:28:09
1:28:09
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Cody's back with the boys just in time to talk about the formative '90s nerd slacker comedy of Kevin Smith. Take a ride with them back to the Quick Stop and hang with Dante and Randall to cover the CLERKS trilogy and how those movies (along with Smith's other cinema) have aged over the years.
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The boys take you to the bank (the BLOOD BANK!) with Steven Seagal's run all night Brooklyn scumbag showcase as they explore the early awesome years of the aikido master's cinematic career. And really, they just wanna know: anybody seen Ritchie? Eyyyyyy!
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Mini-Series - Summer Camp Sundown (Part IV: Meatballs 4, Bloody Murder, Indian Summer)
1:12:08
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Sorry kids, Summer's over! In this final installment of SH's summer camp cinema mini-series, the boys jump on jet skis with Corey Feldman, dodge a faux Jason's chainsaw, and finally reflect on their childhood's with a forgotten '90s adult melodrama. The sun has set and it's time for Fall, so let's bring this kooky movie vacation to a close.…
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Mini-Series - Summer Camp Sundown (Part III: Meatballs 3, Cheerleader Camp, Summer Camp Girls)
1:19:37
1:19:37
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Part three of the boys' summer camp cinema series sees them taking a summer job at Mean Gene's rowdy lakeside bar in MEATBALLS III, stalking bloody pom poms in CHEERLEADER CAMP, and finally diving headfirst into hardcore porn with Gary Graver's SUMMER CAMP GIRLS. Make sure to bring your jimmy hats, because this episode is very, very horny.…
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Mini-Series - Summer Camp Sundown (Part II: Meatballs 2, Madman, Oddballs)
1:05:07
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Was that a *LISP*? The boys pile back into the school bus and head back to camp for part two of their farewell to summer hijinks, covering three more entries into the horniest teen canon: MEATBALLS 2, MADMAN, and ODDBALLS!
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Mini-Series - Summer Camp Sundown (Part I: Meatballs, The Burning, Little Darlings)
1:18:29
1:18:29
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In another SH mini-series, the boys say farewell to summer with a four part tribute to the MEATBALLS movies, starting the Bill Murray starring comedy classic. In true Handshake fashion, one film was not enough, so they paired it with the '81 bloodbath THE BURNING, and the undervalued coming of age cabin classic, LITTLE DARLINGS.…
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Get to tha Choppah! To celebrate the release of PREY, the boys run through the entire PREDATOR series, including the sweaty, nasty LA psycho cop future noir that is PREDATOR 2. Your move, Pussyfaces.
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Spine #36 - 47 Meters Down: Uncaged
1:31:30
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Live every week like it's Shark Week. The boys throw another marathon and blast through a bevy of great white attacks in order to celebrate the glory that is shark movies. At the top of their list: Johannes Roberts' underwater descent into albino shark madness 47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED.
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The boys head back to the Big Apple to explore four more entries into the NYC Grime canon, including the unwoke, perverse, smash 'em up opus that is NIGHT OF THE JUGGLER (1980).
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Mini-Series: Too Old to Die Young (Volume Four)
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The boys bring it home with the fourth and final installment of their mini-series tribute to Nic Refn's magnum streaming opus, TOO OLD TO DIE YOUNG, but not before tossing in some analysis of it's spiritual prequel, THE NEON DEMON, for good measure.
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